I am in Rome right now, in a small but comfortable hotel room. Just slept in small intervals, waking each hour to check the time.

I don’t know exactly why I’m so anxious this time.

It’s my second time as an attendee at this conference, but this time is different. Probably I just need to unpack a little bit, not to watch every step I’m doing.

There is a lot going on right now. The first time at this conference was in September 2016.
I was relatively anxious because >wow Berlin! >first conf! >surviving in Germany by myself! >oh no I have to catch the plane! Let’s check every small detail of the Do&Dont’s of air travel!. Probably, having a couple of days to visit the city prior to the conference was a good idea, letting me to relax and be confident.

This time, I could not have this privilege. I organized going to this conference a couple of months ago, but what I could not expect was my bosses putting me on a different client (an old one, but still), giving me two weeks of notice, with one week to transfer knowledge to a less experienced colleague. I am expected to start on Monday morning.

Monday morning. I come back from Rome on Sunday night. Just a good 6 hours of sleep.

I am worried about the new project. I am worried about the future of the previous project. I am worried for the house search.

Fuck anxiety.